Looking for women who want to be moms. HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF CHRISTMAS IN ???? TWAS the NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS in - at my house. Twas the night beforei s o text friends Christmas, Kinky sex date in New bavaria OH. Swingers, kinkycouples sex. when all through my pad I had no girlfriend and it was making me My stocking was hung on the wall with a tack And I was munching some nachos and having a snack All snug in my bed -- I was there all alone No girl to snuggle with so I pissed and I moaned And me in flannel sleeping pants and shirt Was wishing I had a girl with whom I could flirt When out on the lawn there was a big ass noise "Awe Mom your just Illin it's the Beastie Boys" I was wishing and hoping that it might be a date So with baited breath I stood and I wait. There was snow on the ground and my heart was To find me a girl who likes Pizza with Bacon When what should appear in the dark of the night Hell -- it's just Santa and not a girl in sight. Enough is enough Santa -- I need a female xxx I can flirt with and text and e-mail I thought it might help if I ed out some names To give Santa a on some righteous dames Now , now , now Olivia and On , on Tara and Katniss Everdeen On top of my port or to the door at the right Bring me a funny xxx who is like White As dry leaves before the wild hurricane shroud Being single's the worst and it sucks ass out loud And up to the house top the coursers they flew And I was struck in the eye by reindeer poo I told St. "I'm tired of being alone" And wasting my time in the "friendship zone" I wake up solitary in a pile of drool And I shouldn't be single because I'm entirely to cool I am a nice guy that holds open the door And I make soup for my girl when her throat is sore I will sing her songs and will hit the high And when watching the she can hold the remote Then Santa filled up my stocking With nothing that grand But a worn out burned copy Of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band For a moment I considered punching Santa in the Or strangling the old buzzard with a Holiday wreath So I shouted out loud "Dude where is my Christmas wish" And to my dismay Santa said "Hey -- try Plenty of Fish" "D'oh" So Santa gave me the shaft and I was good all the time. He could have brought me a Hotty -- would that be a ? So with a wink of his eye and a twist of his head I knew only my mangy ass dog would be with me in bed He spoke not a word but went on with his work He left me girlfriendless and felling like a To say the least -- I was angry and pissed Because now I'm here trying to find a girl on 's List So to wrap up my story as I drive out of sight Christmas to all and to all I say -- If you are single and you want a nice boyfriend I am a really nice guy that a lot and works real hard and has a job and pays his bills and I am normal and if you are interested please send me a and I will send xxx back and do me xxx more favor and put "Beastie Boy's" in the subject line and if I don't see the or the subject line word I probably wont read the response. AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT. Happy Independence Day